How did I meet Shadowrun? First she was commenting like all of you, then she started to compare her journey with mine giving thoughtful advice and support. Even if I once thought that internet friends were not real, I have learned that they are real friend and Shadowrun became one. I couldn’t help it but ask her to share her successful journey with us so we can all benefit from someone who have been there. Here she is…
For many years I was unhappy with my weight. In high school, I was only about 10 pounds overweight, but I hated it. I felt like my thighs were too big and my stomach was too pudgy. I’d look at the skinny, toned girls around me and feel quite inferior. I dreamed of being like them. I’d go home determined to make changes. This determination would last about a week, and then I’d go back to eating fast food, ice cream and candy. All the while feeling guilty – which of course led me to eat more. Most times I ate alone. I felt comfort in that. I ate in my car or in my bedroom late at night. I’d read a book and eat mindlessly til the food was gone. If I wasn’t satisfied, I got more.
I met my husband soon after high school. He loved me exactly as I was. I didn’t feel self-conscious around him, and so I never worried about my weight during the two years we dated. He knew I lacked self-confidence, and cared enough about me to help me gain some. I attribute a lot of my successes to him.
We married young, and I got pregnant soon after. At the time, I wasn’t working, so I spent my days eating and watching TV. My favorite lunch was a burger and fries from our local fast food joint, followed by a hot fudge sundae. Then I would make a big dinner for my new hubby. Most times, we would snack again later in front of the TV. I was pregnant and going to be fat anyway, so why not enjoy it?
Well, I had three more pregnancies after that….
So you can imagine what happened. By the time my fourth child was born, I was 60 pounds overweight. That may not sound like much, but on my small frame, it looked like a ton.
For a while, I would just shrug my shoulders and think “Oh well. I’ve had FOUR kids! I deserve to look this way.” And I went about my day eating burgers, fries, hot pockets, chips, desserts… anything and everything I wanted.
I found myself having no energy, just wanting to sleep and laze around all day. Not exactly ideal for a mom of four young kids under the age of 6.
I remember very clearly the day it hit me. My youngest had just turned 1. I was nearing 30 years old. I looked into the mirror and saw an old, fat lady. And I didn’t recognize her. Out loud, I said “This is NOT who I am. And this is NOT who I’m going to be.”
That day I began my journey. It was long, difficult, and heartbreaking at times, but I was determined.
That was almost 13 years ago. I lost more than 60 pounds and I have kept it off since.
I am NO different than any of you. I went through the same things you’re going through. I fought the same battles, and I experienced the same highs. My difference is that I did it on my own. I did not have the support of blog friends to push me along.
I’m looking forward to sharing my journey and experiences with you all, and offering advice along the way. You’ve heard it before, I’m sure, but seriously:
If I can do it – you can too!