Where to start…
I think it started when I baked a rum cake for husband’s birthday because it’s his favourite. By now I can just say that it might also be my favourite or it is simply addictive. We had a piece after lunch and I allowed myself to eat some because I thought I would be able to control myself like I do with cookies that are often in the house. I was so wrong! I lost it. Hubby was gone at work and was suppose to take half the cake with him but he forgot. All I could think about was that damned cake. I had another piece and another piece. I felt out of control and ashamed that some pastry could make me feel that way. I even stopped logging my food for the day.
Today I didn’t log anything either and didn’t step on the board. I just kept going like if tracking calories wasn’t part of my life. I ate normally but I also had more cake but in a more controlled way. I didn’t have that shame feeling and felt like all the damage was already done so I should enjoy some more.
Tomorrow I will step on the scale again and face the music. I will just start again and focus on my goal. I think maybe I can handle eating one cookie during the day even if there is more in the pantry but I shouldn’t bake anything for a while. I felt so bad yesterday but today I just feel like taking control over myself and getting back on the healthy track.
I am ready to look forward from tomorrow and keep trying to learn moderation even if it is going to take a loooooong time! I am just not going to practice with cake!